Here's this line that keeps going through my head now that I've been obsessively listening to the Dead again. I was one of those Deadheads who spent years, at least three years, listening to almost nothing else. And then, nothing. Hardly ever even put a single song in rotation anymore. I've been writing some back story and I know the tunes are all going to figure into the bigger story, if only as a soundtrack to my writing. A few well placed guitar licks to coax the memories.
But for now this just this line, this one verse from Stella Blue:
"I've stayed in every blue light, cheap hotel
can't win for trying,
Dust off these rusty strings just one more time
gonna make them shine, shine"
Certain lines, the crowd always erupted, like when Jerry sang that one. Cheesy as this sounds, I will miss Jerry Garcia for the rest of my life.
I've been playing with this thing in my head about the Dead and spirituality, trying to figure out how to write it without just coming off as the cliche.
Scott said this thing about us meeting in line for Dead tickets and me knowing who he is, he said, "You met me in line for Dead tickets. Who did you think you were marrying?" He said it in therapy. Led to this discussion with the therapist about how she always had gotten that there was this certain commonality that drew people to the Dead but never understood what.
It is spirituality, hunger for it. Always that was so clear to me. It's so simple. The words and the guitar work scream it, and here were all these mostly 20-something, upper middle class white kids struggling to find something. Raised on dogma in a plastic wasteland and knowing there is so much more. Something. That we are that, but with no way to get to it. Just a wanting. Wanting to be OK with themselves and the hardness of life and the connectedness of everyone, everything. The synchronicity. Ask any Deadhead what they loved about tour and they'll tell the tale of synchroncity.
All these lost people searching and believing in something. Screaming out to lines like these:
"I have spent my life seeking all that's still unsung
bent my ear to hear the tune and closed my eyes to see
when there were no strings to play
You played to me."
and:
"In another time's forgotten space
your eyes looked from your mothers face
wildfire seed in sand and stone
may the four winds blow you safely home"
and simple like:
"I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance."
Weird, I know. But does it make any sense?
Totally. Totally makes sense.
ReplyDeleteLike the counselor, I always wondered about the draw of the Dead. I graduated from high school in '72, so my age may work against my having understood it.
With just these few paragraphs, you've given me many answers. And you've made me want more. Lots, lots more.
It does makes sense. It does. I'm so glad you posted this...
ReplyDeleteI wish I could post something about why some of my music is so important to me. But most of my music doesn't have quite as much cultural context.
I think a lot of people who were never Deadheads really wonder what it was all about, and you say it well, you are just the one to be able to articulate it. (Especially since you can talk about the spiritual value and not just use it as an excuse to be irresponsible. ;)
I think in the end, most of my music, and probably most music in general, is about it's spiritual value to the listener. So anything that obviously had that value to so many people in such a big way that it became about so much more than the music, that's worth writing about.
I think this absolutely has the potential to be a longer piece, and part of your bigger story.
Oh, and more about the synchronicity!
I'm happy that you began this conversation, too. Like opening Harry Potter. There's much, much more and we want to discover it through your words. It always made me feel like there was a great, magical circus show where the curtain parted, the veil lifted - and I felt those more devoted souls were shown things that no one on the outside could imagine. And why were all those young girls in long skirts twirling all the time?!
ReplyDeleteI want to know how it provided the backdrop for your (love) story and marriage. That's a cool thought - to describe it in the context of that music.
Love.
All the sense in the world.
ReplyDeletelove.
i think all music plays a big part...not just the dead but it is something in all of us that we can connect so deeply with b/c there is so much heart and soul put into it well the good songs b4 this new generation....but its our souls and feeling when that right one hits and then ur like this is so me wow!
ReplyDelete